


& when i hold her/feel her warmth/i feel good/feel safe

by andanteavians



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: F/F, Femslash, Fluff, Girls Kissing, Light Angst, fem!SnowBaz, written for Carry On Countdown 2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:34:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24192883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andanteavians/pseuds/andanteavians
Summary: Simone is having a bad day. Baz takes care of her.
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 2
Kudos: 42





	& when i hold her/feel her warmth/i feel good/feel safe

**Author's Note:**

> A short fic that was originally written for Carry On Countdown 2019, Day 7: wlw.
> 
> Title comes from Pat Parker's poem "My Lover is a Woman."
> 
> Unbetaed.
> 
> This fic now has [art](https://imhellakitty.tumblr.com/post/623925844712341505/here-is-my-coexchange-piece-for-andanteavians) by the wonderful [imhellakitty](https://imhellakitty.tumblr.com) on tumblr! Check it out and cry over the sheer sweetness it exudes.

I’ve been having a bad day. Even after defeating the Humdrum and losing my magic, days like these reminded me that I was the “worst Chosen One ever to be chosen.” As much as my girlfriend tries to disabuse me of the notion, uselessly lying in my bed all day eventually leads to self-loathing.

“Snow,” Baz says, exasperatedly, from her perch on the edge of the bed, “I never really meant that. You know I was just hopelessly in love with you and full of self-hatred.” She passes a Hershey’s Kiss from the bag to me and opens a couple for herself.

“I know,” I whine. “But I don’t get why when you could have had Penny, or Trixie, or literally anyone else.” I readjust my hot water bottle so that it more comfortably sits on my stomach. The first few days of my period, without fail, always result in absolute misery and cramps that take me out of commission. Baz is used to them by now, but still takes the time to keep me company (and bring me chocolate) because she’s secretly a softie.

“Bunce? Really? Or the pixie? Love, I may be attracted to women, but we both know that I couldn’t have put up with them for two years and counting. Do you want me to cast another _**Get well soon**_ on you? Or do you want to cuddle?” Drawing her hair up into a ponytail (Crowley, she’s gorgeous), Baz moves over and shoves me to the side so that she can lie next to me.

I open my mouth to defend Penny’s honor, but frankly Baz is right — they already argue enough as it is, I can’t imagine if they were dating. Baz takes advantage of my momentary silence to lean in and kiss me. I try to melt into it and block out all of the thoughts swirling through my mind at top speed, but she pulls away far too quickly. Did I do something wrong? Oh Crowley, does Baz hate kissing me now? I’d have broken up with me by now if I were her — why would she date a stupid, useless ex-mage? She should break up with me, I’m only holding her back. I hate myself so much; no wonder she hated me in Watford…

As my forehead creases and my eyes begin to water so much (the worst possible Chosen One ever), Baz takes notice of my turmoil and looks me straight in the eyes. “Simone Snow, I know what you’re thinking. I love you so much, I never thought that I could live such a happy life. You saved me, Simone. From… you remember the forest.” Before I can even try to formulate a reply to my girlfriend (she saved me, I can’t even understand how she doesn’t see that!), she presses another kiss to my forehead.

“No more arguments, Snow. Now we’re going to watch Netflix and feel better, alright?” I know that she’s trying to build her image back up after that sappy moment, and let her turn on an episode of Parks and Rec. Settling into her side, I resolve to try to enjoy the moment.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! If you want to talk to me about Carry On or Snowbaz, feel free to hit me up at my [tumblr](https://andanteavians.tumblr.com)


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